Unwavering
For years, I wondered if my longings in love made me “too much.” Today, I see them as sacred. Without putting them fully into words, I had quietly sensed my core values in relationship. More recently, I began writing and updating my “love list” for a soul connection—yet I still didn’t truly honor it. That’s when I found myself facing the old dilemma: “Am I asking too much, or being too much?” Upon reflection, I finally understood why.
Conditioning around Self-Worth- many of us have been taught (especially women and/or highly empathetic souls) to downplay our needs, so as not to be “difficult” or “demanding”. This can reflect an inner reflex to question if our deepest desires are too much.
Fear of Loss- instead of meeting the fear until it softens, we soften the ask. It feels safer even though it compromises our truth.
Confusion between “Preference” and “Core Value”- it is not that we are asking them to change their favorite music or food. We are naming alignment with values, priorities, courage. Those are not “extra” requests. They are foundation stones for partnership.
And so the question arises: “If I waver on my core values, why would he hold this love as a priority?” The compromise I make within myself will only echo in him.
A situation presented itself that tested me. My first instinct told me that if I meet the request in its asked shape and form, I will be deviating from my values, yet I entertained the ego for a little while until God stepped in, and I was clear that the choice I am about to make keeps me in a loop of unworthiness pattern. Thanks God, I listened and honored my soul. It felt liberating to choose Me.
Out of this tension, I finally sat down and wrote what my soul knows: the non-negotiables of love.
Prioritization- God, himself, me, and then everything else. Not “fitted-in”, but central.
Alignment- not just saying the right things but living them.
Presence- being with each other in the now, not escaping in the past or future.
Mutual Courage- both willing to risk for truth and alignment.
Emotional Honesty- ability to speak truth even when it is uncomfortable.
When I start to feel uneasy, this inner compass helps me soften self-doubt. Instead of asking, “Am I too much, or asking for too much?” I now ask, “Are my non-negotiables being met?” It took me a long time—and moving through the same lesson in different layers—to realize that when I ignore my soul’s whispers, I pay the price: even experiences that seem alluring and memorable at first feel empty. But when I honor these values, I no longer fear being ‘too much.’ I see clearly that asking for truth, alignment, and presence isn’t asking for more—it’s asking for love in its most mature, divine form.
